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One theory currently being researched is that cats errantly think that by going through a door they will ascend to a newer, higher form, that of a dog. Stupid cats. Dogs are born, not made.
We have two cats, one dog. One cat is a male, a big male, over 20 lbs. One of my sisters lives in another state now, but she once had a cat, maybe still does, that reminded me very much of our big boy, a cat named Chuckie. Our 'Baby' is much like him. Anyway, Baby got into his latest outdoor adventure and completely tore out his Achilles tendons, first the major and then the minor snapped the next day. Loving cats the way I do (sauteed, in a butter and onion sauce), I was weighing the choice ofthe expensive surgery against the choice of, um, well, you know, when I considered how I'd broach the the second choice (catenasia?) with Mrs. Joe and teenaged daughter Princess Joe, and how it might go over. That process took two seconds. Two thousand MF-ing dollars later, Baby is been hobbling around Casa Cuddy with a cast on his rear right leg extending from hip to tippy-toe, stuck out straight because of the nature of the tendon that was reattached. Basically, he's still a four legged cat, but one leg is temporarily 4 inches longer than the other three. He is miserable, doesn't understand, and cannot believe I won't let him go outside where he's previously spent every single night of his life picking fights with whatever critters he finds out there, judging by his numerous scars, mangled ears, and previous ER visits and treatment.
Late at night, when Queen Joe and the Princess are well abed and the house is quiet, I can hear Baby at the other end of the house, making his way across the wooden floor towards the food bowl or litter box: CLUMP, draaaag, CLUMP, draaaag, CLUMP, draaag..., which is, as fans of horror movies will tell you, the last sound one hears before some giant in overalls and a goalie's mask carrying a chain saw introduces you to eternity - piece by piece. I'm am normally not given to the power of suggestion, nor to cheap slasher movies, but I gotta tell ya.... it freaks me out every time till I figger out exactly what that sound is. CLUMP, draaaag, CLUMP, draaaag......
An added thrill-a-minute-for-Daddy factor is the presence of our newest little money-sucking dependent, a 7 month old puppy, all of 6 lbs (Baby weighs 21 lbs), who feels that all liivng creatures exist solely to provide him with a playmate. Baby has made it quite clear that 'homey don't play', but innocent little Max insists, to Baby's great annoyance. I recognize the look on Baby's face in those moments, the look that says, "Dude, one day this cast is coming off, and on that day, my leetle canine frien', so shall your head."
I can't wait.
_________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. - PJ O'Rourke
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain
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